Many years ago, there was a boy named Makeshift Aragon. Young Makeshift lived, for some reason, on the surface of the sun. To make matters worse, he lived in a corrugated aluminum shack with a carpet of burning coals. All of this never bothered Makeshift that much, and he never complained about it. What he did complain about from time to time was the loneliness. Many people lived on the surface of the sun near Makeshift, but none of them ever spoke to him.
One day, a girl that Makeshift knew from the days before he went to live on the sun decided that she too would move to the center of the solar system. This made Makeshift very happy, for a time. Once the girl got to the sun, she began to complain. She complained about how there was nobody she liked on the sun. She complained about how everyone she loved was 93 million miles away. Mostly she complained about the heat. She complained so often and so loudly that poor Makeshift could not sleep. So Makeshift shot her in the face and made a cool tent out of her skin. And he never complained about being lonely again.